Forums-A Hotbed Of Lies And Half Truths
Forums-A Hotbed Of Lies And Half Truths
This blog is more of a personal blog than the usual property related items I normally write about.
Lies Printed In An open Forum
However, this week something happened to me on social media that I know has happened to a lot of other folks. Now, anyone that knows me will know that I love the whole aspect of using social media to further your business. Unfortunately, where there is great good, there are always those who wish to either abuse it or use it to destroy others credibility. This is why so many people are so afraid to get really involved with social media. But in my opinion, you cant allow one bad apple to spoil the rest.
The use of social media channels allows you to dip in and out of being connected to people. If you follow someone and later decide they don’t fit with your business then its your prerogative to disconnect yourself from them. This week some lies were told about me on an open property forum. In fact they were posted by the forum owner. This person started an argument with me months ago off-line. An argument in which I stated my case, which was not personal in any way, then walked away with what I considered no hard feelings, even though that person was very abusive to me at the time. I’m not one for bearing a grudge. I say my piece and move on.
Attempts To Discredit My Business
However, since this episode they have chosen to continue to try and discredit me at every opportunity. They have used others to steal my content and pass it off as their own, and they have actively gone after people I have formed great relationships with ( via social media) and tried to sour the relationships. I know that for a fact, because some of them involved have told me so. The final straw was having blatant lies told about me a forum where I previously had a lot of respect. This is clearly an attempt to discredit me. I myself do not pay attention to anything this person does, but others tell me when stuff is done or said which could be damaging to me or my business.
Through the last few months I have just continued to ignore all the pathetic jibes because it’s just not important in the great scheme of things. As a business we are moving in much different circles now and we are not doing the same things we were two years ago. Social media has allowed us the opportunity to lift ourselves from the back biting cesspit of property sharks and celebrity landlords and move into things we never thought we would be involved with.
You Can Use The Time You Spend Using Social Media Effectively
I used to write a lot on forums to help people learn about property. The main problem with them is that they are very time consuming and not very productive in a business sense. You also have a lot of people with lots of opinions which tends to lead to fighting. Life is too short for fighting. Hence why in the end I decided that for me, they were not a productive use of my time and that a blog would give my business its own voice in the right place. Some people view this as controlling. As a business with a high ethical stance its very important to us who we are connected to and how information about us is transmitted. Social media allows us to be connected to those who have the same view as us. What could be better than that? Below is what was said, and in bold, the real truth behind the lies and half truths posted.
For The Record- the accusations and the truth
1) Yes, Roberta left and deleted her posts in the process
– True
2) She had a spat with another member and asked me to delete that person’s account.
– Lie – I have never argued with another member or asked for any posts to be deleted. I am not that petty. I also did not leave straight away as was implied, I deleted the account months later because the owner was constantly trying to pick fights and discredit my business.
3).When I refused, she left.
– Lie – This discussion never took place-its fabricated by the forum owner.
4) She has since informed that she has no interest in being associated with most of the people on [the forum], and it is bad for her brand.
– Partial lie – I said there were some folks on there that I did not want to be associated with as I felt they did not fit with our ethical stance.
5) She prefers to run her own blog where she can control the comments to her satisfaction.
– True – and I have no problem admitting it for the reasons explained above.
6) She appears to have very little to do with property anymore and is running a social media networking event now, instead of a property networking event.
– Lie – I am more active in property than I have ever been and I don’t run a social media event. I help run a collaborative event to connect those using social media working in the “built environment” ( definition: The phrase built environment refers to the man-made surroundings that provide the setting for human activity, ranging in scale from personal shelter to neighborhoods to the large-scale civic surroundings.)
7) She was also hostile towards me when I asked, so I think its a bit of a touchy subject.
– Lie – I have never been hostile, I merely removed myself from the situation.
Those people who profess to be social media experts, or who sell courses on it should really understand the true purpose of it before deciding its “their way or the high way” so to speak. If someone told fabricated lies and half truths about you on a forum- what would you do? Personally I was disgusted at the lies and fabrication. It’s petty and pointless.
*UPDATE: I am aware that the forum in mentioned above have resurrected my posts even after I deleted them from the site. Which just goes to show what mindset you are dealing with. thankfully one great thing about social media is the ability to block undesirables from further contact
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By editor|January 25th, 2022|Categories: Personal Announcements|Tags: forum lies, half truth, lies, property tribes, roberta ward, truth|29 Comments
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Roberta, you raise some good points in this post; the fear of such jibes/character assassination/plagerism are, I’m sure, reasons why many people still feel very nervous about engaging on SoMe. You do have done well not to distance yourself, your company & your brand from such unprofessional & unsocial behaviour.
Before commenting on this post I took a look at the offending blog and comments written by the owner. Amongst all the guff, she referred to some tweets from Roberta about hating her tenants and being a landlord in the last 24 hours. I saw Roberta’s timeline yesterday and didn’t recall those comments so back tracked. Basically her words have been misquoted and worst than that, TWISTED. Ultimately I can never trust a word written by ‘the lady’ in question and won’t be visiting her blogs again.
It’s very easy to write all kinds of rubbish on the web but when it get’s personal and you’re affecting someone’s livelihood that it over the top and goes far beyond the bounds of online etiquette.
I’ve known Roberta through Twitter for about a year now and I’ve found her to be a source of sound knowledge in the property industry and always willing to share her expertise and help others achieve success too.
All this nastiness is completely unnecessary and childish. If you have a problem with someone on social media, just move on!
Yes, the ‘being misquoted’ thing happens a lot with this particular forum owner, that and my words being twisted to make me look like the bad guy. Its petty and childish and why I walked away in the first place. Thanks for your comments re my knowledge- its based on experience, not fabrication as a are many of the ‘guru’ types who have only been involved in property for a short time during the ‘good years’.
Ann’s post sums up my thoughts.
I have also known Roberta for a substantial amount of time through Twitter and have never come across anything like this with her before. She is beloved by her followers and has made lasting relationships – just read all the comments made here.
Unfortunately wherever you go there will be some sort of nastiness/trolling/b*tching and the internet is the breeding ground for this sort of thing.
Fortunately Shakespeare was right: ‘The truth will out’.
Appreciate your thoughts on this. Thanks for the lovely kind words too. Yes indeed the truth will out, and the more this goes on the more people who I know have gripes will come out in public. Bad behavior cant be hidden for ever.
Hi Roberta, over the last year, you have been very supportive to me in social media and I regard you as a good loyal friend. Having just read your blog, it really has saddened me to see that a good friend has been mixed up in a complete circus that is not warranted. I too joined social media for the right reasons, I agree its such a waste of space to be fighting arguing especially online, I believe that is not what social media is about. I too have been on the receiving end of a vicious attack of words online to try and discredit me,even more hurtful when the author in question writes like a victim and also gets the FACTS and dates all wrong, and to make it worse the situation they wrote about had nothing to do with that person in question. (shocking especially when I made peace) but I just rise above it, ignore it, I just want to see the best in everyone, I too
have no time to hate, life is so short, even the vindictive words attacked online, I just haven’t time to rise to it obviously the person in question never moved on and as I was once told by a person who knew this person in question they would never be happy. I love my life and I know you too are passionate about yours, I’m shocked to read in the blog the TRUTH vs LIES its all so bizarre unreal, child like I hope it will all stop for you now as I know you have so much positive energy and focus on much bigger things. I just wish we all lived in a place where everyone gets on, I know we don’t so we just have to accept that is the way it is, just keep doing what you are doing and do it well, and let no one and I mean NO one get in the way, because I certainly don’t. Great insightful post. (I wish people would get on in social media because thats what it is social not anti social)
discredit myself in some way
Ah Forums, wonderful things, a great way to demonstrate your expertise and gain new business (in theory), in practice, time consuming and often attracts the type of people who will disagree with any opinion other than their own.
I think it’s wrong this person has taken it up on themselves to try and discredit you on-line. Recently I had 2 bad experiences with a designer and web guy, I felt so angry I thought I would ‘tell twitter’ all about them and make sure they are exposed. The truth is though I resisted. The simple reasons for that, my experience could be a mitigating circumstance and as such doesn’t sum up their whole business practice, the fact they wont earn from me, nor will I push business their way again should be enough for them to buck up their ideas, and I know how hard reputation is to build and who am I to destroy that (for reasons I have given).
What I think is people need to be careful about the consequences of their actions. Knowing you as long as I have Roberta I have a good understanding of your character and know you to be highly ethical, good humoured, yet not afraid to speak openly. Now all this guy has done is made me think was a prat! Which damages his reputation more than yours. I don’t like this tell tale, crapping on people nonsense, play ground stuff!
Again in my example, I wont go out of my way to discredit these people, if someone asks me for my experiences / thoughts I will simply present the facts as they occurred with ME. Not an opinion, not a leading statement, just facts. And that is how I feel it should be. Facts rather than opinion led.
Darren,Thats exactly how I feel, and another reason why I dont write on forums. Blogs too are opinion led, and everyone knows that so there is no ambiguity involved.
Thanks so much for your support. I really am at a loss to know why someone would want to do this to someone else. Its unprofessional in the extreme.To openly try to discredit you and then pretend to be nice afterwards beggars belief.
Roberta – you have gained so much from social media and I think you need to focus on the good things. As you say yourself, you are doing things you did not think possible 2 years ago. Shit happens – both in the real world and in the social world. Accept it and move on. Yes it hurts, but stuff some shoulder pads in your jacket and walk out proud. Moving on, being productive and achieving your dreams.
Hi Sam,I have ignored it for months now simply because we have been so busy, and arguing the same points over and over will not solve anything. As far as Im concerned, it was over months ago. At some point though, you have to defend yourself, especially when you have spent 5 years building a business and a great reputation. The shoulder pads are in and Ive already moved on Hope to see you again at our next tweet up. Thanks for taking time to comment. Appreciated.
Roberta,
We must have known one another the better part of two years now, thanks basically to Twitter. I have nothing but good things to say about you – you’re one of the finest people I’ve had the pleasure of meeting!
I think it’s sad when people choose to attack others publicly on forums and so on. Inevitable but sad. Some people are petty and childish and one of the biggest downfalls of social media is the ability for people to write complete bullsh*t about people, products and companies, with absolutely no foundation.
As abhorrent and self-inflating as such behaviour is and, as much as it may go unchecked for some time, there are only so many bridges one can burn before being shown for what you really are. I have seen this time and again; more so than ever with social media because people can and will talk and share their experiences.
Hi Wendy, this comment means so much to me. Thanks you for that, much appreciated.
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Hi – Completely understand now why you were so frustrated with this when I spoke with you on twitter yesterday. It is reasonable to clear the air. I think you hold the answer to the situation – you’ve already “walked away” and removed yourself from this – great and appropriate move.
I personally believe that those who wish to damage others are spending too long focusing on non-productive activities. In so doing these people will actually do more damage to themselves than they will do to the party they attack..
I also believe such ludicrous and unprofessional behaviour is fuelled by fear / jealousy – so in some perverse way this is a credit to your position – if you were of no significance or interest they surely would not bother to invest the energy in making an attack.
I hope this blog has cleared up any ambiguity with parties who know both sides and I for one, who have come to know you via social media, have every confidence in you ethics and integrity – there is little anyone would be able to say to undermine my good opinion of you. This will be even more true of those who have known you longer.
Thus, good luck, move on – as you have – and thanks for sharing. We all face similar business-personal challenges, it is reassuring to know we are not alone!
Im absolutely blown away by the fantastic support I have had today regarding this blog and my treatment elsewhere. Im truely touched that so many of my twitter friends have taken time out of their busy days to write a comment here.
Personally I feel this sort of behavior is narcissistic in the extreme. Its self serving. In the end it can only damage the originator.You are right Clare, people only attack others out of fear or when they feel threatened.I may have the odd rant on twitter, but I never openly attack people because it serves no purpose.
I totally agree in regards to forums. I went on to help others, but got into serveral spats with people who just want to “win” the argument, rather than help anyone. Just have to do your best staying positive with what you are doing and for the reasons you are doing it. Ignore those whose agenda is very different.
Thanks for that. I completely agree with you.Winning at all costs is just ridiculous in my opinion.
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Sorry I didn’t get to this earlier Roberta but I was out delivering a workshop on Social Media for my MasterMind Group (hey, you’d better not be treading on my turf gal or I’ll have to diss you on some forum or other :))
I don’t know anything about property or the people involved but I do recognise jealousy when I see it. The comments on that forum reek of two faced nastiness even to someone just looking in as an observer.
Its not much of a comfort but you know, no-one disses a non-entity. The only reason someone tries to bring down another person is because they feel inferior and want you back at their level instead of head and shoulders above them. You must be doing something *really* good to attract that sort of attention. And you know what, the better you get, the more its gonna happen because there are a lot of *also rans’ in the world.
How do you think the real high flyers cope with this sort of attention? Mostly by ignoring it and not giving the jerks the satisfaction of knowing you’ve even noticed. (A juicy lawsuit works too if it gets really bad.)
My advice? Leave them to wallow in their muddy pond and head for clean water. Bullies thrive on attention and hate to be ignored.
Hi Ann, love this bit: “because they feel inferior and want you back at their level.” After I posted this blog, they even found a way to show the blog I wrote for you about my social media journey in a bad light! That blog had an amazing amount of great positive comments written about it last week. I will continue to ignore the jibes and bullying as I have tried to do for the last few months. I will look at legal action if it continues. It always the way that when you tell folks you believe and live by ethical standards, that some will endevour to pick fights to prove you wrong. Predictable.
Hi Roberta,
I am interested in this discussion as I am facing a similar situation. One thing that bothers me though, it that you are expecting people to believe you with no supporting evidence. I think you should be mindful of that. You claim this person stole your material. I would suggest that you post a link to your material and then a link to theirs, where they copied you, to sustantiate that claim. I think it is you who could be opening yourself up to litigation by making such defamatory comments and implying that this person is trying to discredit your business. Heresay never stands up in a legal situation.
Hi Roberta, I agree with PAD4A’s summary and urge you to stay positive. Events like this will sadly continue to happen, but I know you will rise above it and move on.
SM doesn’t stand for Sociopath Media, so learn from it and grow – and continue to be social.
Hi Pan,” Sociopath Media!” that’s the best phrase Ive heard in ages. Thanks for making me laugh buddy! x
Very disappointed that you choose censorship to ‘manage’ your blog Roberta. All this will do is to encourage people to comment on you and your actions elsewhere where you have little or no control. Surely it is better for you, for your brand and for you network to see you engaging in a positive way with comments be they negative, positive, constructive or indeed destructive rather than deceiving them through manipulation.
No doubt you will delete this too.
The comment was deleted because you were attacking someone else in the comments section. That’s is both unfair and not allowed and nothing to do with the blog in question. This is not a forum, we dont allow bad behavior. Moderation is my perogitive as the blog owner.
As I have said MANY times now, as far as I am concerned I have walked away from this argument which, was set purely to discredit me. Maybe if you took an objective view, instead of only listening to half the manipulated facts and making assumptions then you would understand the situation better.
The purpose of social media is so you can connect to those you WANT to be connected to, and disconnect from those you dont. Just like real life in fact.Please stop chasing me on my media channels and attacking people Im connected to over social media. Lastly, if you check back through my blogs here you will find plenty of negative comments-, again, your assumption is incorrect.
Thanks for not deleting my comment and secondly for replying.
Moderation/censorship is very subjective I believe and a group full of people would possibly each have their own take on the matter.
I’m not attacking anyone, merely commenting on posted content with MY personal opinion.
I have no desire to fall out with anyone at all, hope that this comes across in the right way.
The original comment came over as aggressive, and hence was deleted.Please do me the courtesy of not attacking me on the forum in question too. By saying one thing here and different elsewhere that makes it hard for anyone to believe what you say in either place. The truth is, we have never met and you dont know me, you only have a lop-sided view of me from another.
Frankly, Im very glad that I have nothing to do with the Landlord crowd anymore.Its not where my business future lies either. We moved away from it over a year ago and were very happy to have done so. one of the best decisions Ive ever made.
Re comments about confusing message – agreed, its not helpful to anyone.
I was a little surprised that I had actually been blocked from following and re-tweeting you. Yes, we have never met in person but we have tweeted about a number of things. I wasn’t aware I had offended you and found that action surprising and aggrevating to be honest, thats all. I have opinions on many people from many others as I’m sure you do too. We can agree to disagree on moderation/censorship thats fine, like I said I think that its a subjective area of opinion. Friends? maybe not although hopefully certainly not enemies?